Preparing For Baby
Seeking answers from other people who have already gone through, or are currently experiencing the adoption journey as you are, provides a great resource of support during the adoption process. Remember, the Adoptions by Heart Adoptive Parent Mentors are always available to offer their help and guidance.
Should we prepare our baby’s room?
Deciding when and how to decorate the baby’s room takes on a very personal meaning for many adoptive parents. Some want to give baby’s room a fresh coat of paint and arrange all the furniture creating the ability to sit and dream about the day of their baby’s arrival. The nursery is transformed into a symbol of hope that a baby will soon be part of your family. On the other hand, it can become a symbol of pain and loss, making it too difficult to even think about a nursery until a baby is home in your arms. Whether or not to prepare your baby’s room is not only a highly personal decision, but it’s one that has to be right for you.
What to take to the hospital when baby is born?
This depends a great deal on whether you have an out of state match or not. However, adoptive parent mentors offer the following list of key items to keep in mind:
• A newborn infant car seat – baby can’t be discharged if you don’t have one.
• A going home outfit for baby.
• Phone chargers for both of your phones and laptops.
• Video camera and charger for batteries, extra DVDs or tapes.
• List of phone numbers for family and friends that you want to get ahold of while at the hospital.
• IDs and medical insurance details.
• A book, your ipad or something you like to do when you have to wait.
• Maps of the hospital area you are going to, or bring a GPS for your car.
• Baby care book.
• Laptop computer if you have one.
You’ll be able to count on the hospital providing you with some (limited) baby care items and will likely receive enough diapers and formula to get you by for possibly a day following discharge. Recently, however ma,ny hospitals have foregone giving formula to take home as they want to discourage bottle feeding and seem to have forgotten that there are those who don’t have the opportunity to breast feed. Anything you may have forgotten can be obtained at a nearby store, including bulky items such as additional diapers as well as bottles that you may prefer not to travel with.
Baby is home but I don’t feel happy and excited. I am worried that we aren’t bonding with our baby.
Be assured this is a very common reaction among adoptive parents who feel tired, frustrated, and overwhelmed. It is quite normal to feel a sense of loss or emptiness after achieving a long sought after goal that’s required a great deal of hard work and time spent.
Here are some resources that may help you:
http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/bonding – Here you’ll find strategies for enhancing attachment in the weeks and months after your baby comes home. There is also great advice on how to recognize and cope with post adoption depression.
Loving and bonding with your adopted baby
Contrary to the common myths about bonding, the process does not always happen instantaneously for either biological or adoptive parents. For many parents, their profound bond to their child develops over time through a variety of experiences. Whether the bonds are instant or gradual, the ties between adoptive parents and adopted children are as strong as any between biological child and biological parent.